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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? >> > >> > PAT BUCHANAN >> > To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American >> > >> > DR. SEUSS >> > Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The >> chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! >> > >> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY >> > To die. In the rain. >> > >> > JERRY FALWELL >> > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the >> plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other >side. >> That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is >> gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we >boycott >> all chickens until we sort out this obomination that the liberal media >> whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That >> chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as >> that. >> > >> > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. >> > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads >without >> having their motives called into question. >> > >> > GRANDPA >> > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told >us >> that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. >> > >> > ARISTOTLE >> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. >> > >> > KARL MARX >> > It was a historical inevitability. >> > >> > SADDAM HUSSEIN >> > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in >> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. >> > >> > RONALD REAGAN >> > What chicken? >> > >> > KEN STARR >> > I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the >> president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law >> enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing >> our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the >> chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and >> > elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For >> that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity >> provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the >> chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until >our >> investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been >> completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked >> information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be >homosexual >> in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, >> or at least to ruffle his feathers.) >> > >> > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK >> > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. >> > >> > FOX MULDER >> > You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens >have >> to cross before you believe it? >> > >> > FREUD >> > The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road >> reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. >> > >> > BILL GATES >> > I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but >> will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your >> checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. >> > >> > EINSTEIN >> > Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the >> chicken? >> > >> > BILL CLINTON >> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? >> Could you define chicken please? >> > >> > LOUIS FARRAKHAN >> > The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed >the >> "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. >> > >> > COLONEL SANDERS >> > I missed one? Ron White e-mail: rwhite@netins.net amateur radio: waØmww "greed kills conscience"
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