2: You sit on your husband's lap, then realize he is standing up.

3: Your husband asks if you want to play a "get acquainted" game called "The
Convict and the Milk Maid."

4: You get a beautiful silk nightgown with fur around the hem. The note in
the box says, "To keep your neck warm"

5: You discover that someone has added a pair of knee pads to your
trousseau.

6: You ask your husband why he is taking so much time in the bathroom, and
he says, "Because I'm doing my tongue exercises."

7: Two rough men appear at your bridal suite door carrying a glass slipper,
a case of champagne, a tub of whipped cream, a large box marked "Danger
Nuclear Vibrator", and six months of back copies of the magazine "German
shepherd love"