posted
1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my > > toddler decided to > > release > > some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able > > to grab hold of > > her > > after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from > > other patrons. I > > told > > her that if she did not start behaving "right now," > > she would be > > punished. > > To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a > > voice just as > > threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will > > tell Grandma > > that I > > saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The > > silence was deafening > > after > > this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped > > what they were > > doing. I > > mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of > > the bank with my > > daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door > > closed behind me > > were > > screams of laughter. > > Amy Richardson > > Stafford,Virginia > > > > 2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I > > was living at home, > > but > > my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited > > my love. We heard > > the > > telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my > > girlfriend that I give her > > a > > piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to > > miss the call, we > > didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the > > bottom of the > > stairs, > > the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of > > people yelled, > > "SURPRISE!!!" My entire family, aunts, uncles, > > grandparents, cousins > > and all > > my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I > > were frozen in a > > state > > of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an > > eternity. Since > > then, no > > one in my family has planned a surprise party again. > > Tim Cahill > > Poughkeepsie, New York > > > > 3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" > > stories I've come > > upon in > > a long time was about a lady who picked up several > > items at a discount > > store. When she finally got up to the checker, she > > learned that one of > > her > > items had no price. Imagine her embarrassment when the > > checker got on > > the > > intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, > > "PRICE CHECK ON LANE > > 13, > > TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody > > at the rear of > > the > > store apparently misunderstood the word "tampax" for > > "THUMBTACKS." In a > > Businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the > > intercom. "DO YOU WANT > > THE > > KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND > > IN WITH A > > HAMMER???" > > > > 4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of > > the class was > > squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying > > attention. She > > went > > back to find out what was going on. He was quite > > embarrassed and > > whispered > > that he had just recently been circumcised and he was > > quite itchy. The > > teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he > > was to phone his > > mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did > > it and he > > returned to > > the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. > > Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the > > room. She went back > > to > > investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with > > his penis hanging > > out. > > "I thought I told you to call your Mom," she screamed. > > "I did," he > > said, > > "and she told me that if I could stick it out till > > noon, she'd come and > > pick > > me up from school.
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