Toop.org: Preparing for the Annual Mammogram

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Topic: Preparing for the Annual Mammogram

Sheryl
Super Poster
Member # 3

posted

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had
them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a few
minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following
practice exercises you will be totally prepared for the test and best of
all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home!

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the
door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that
position for five seconds. Repeat in case the first time isn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear
tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast
is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the
other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends
against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together
as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next
year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared! And just a thought for all you women out
there: MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause. Ever
notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real
problems, it's HISterectomy!

--------------------
Sheryl

Posts: 3134 | From: Ramsey, MN | IP: Logged |