2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS .......
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting
"Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B ?
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated
teller machines,
where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from
his own
bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY !
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and
asked for
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too
small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself
for three hours until police showed up and grabbed
him.

5. DID I SAY THAT ?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who
just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me
all your money
or I'llshoot," The man shouted, "that's not what
I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING ?
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart !" "Is
this her first
child?"
the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her
husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED !!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used
a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
fortunately, he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!).

8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high desert,
an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks,
new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried,
they couldn't
get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It
wouldn't get on a
plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no
matter how much power was applied. After about an
hour of trying
to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,
thinking someone there
could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside
check revealed
everything in perfect working condition. The engine
ran fine, the
outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE ...Under the boat,
still strapped
securely in place, was the trailer.