This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING
-------------------- Vonnie S. Toop Posts: 1399 | From: Eau Claire, WI USA
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posted
A masked man walked into a sperm bank, pulled out a gun, and told the secretary that this was a stick up and to open the safe.
The secretary replied, "You idiot, this is a sperm bank, there's no money here!!"
The masked man insisted that if she did not open the safe he would shoot her on the spot. Reluctantly, she opened the safe and stood back. There in the open safe were two vials of sperm.
The robber pointed his gun at the two vials and ordered the secretary to drink them both or he would blow her head off.
When she had finished drinking the second vial the robber took off his mask. There stood her husband with a grin on his face!!
"See Doris", he said. "that didn't kill you, did it?!"
posted
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy admitted “Yes, she did”. “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain it to you.”
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