posted
> > When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, > > My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, > > Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, > > And he told me there was something that I had to know; > > His look and his tone I will always remember, > > When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November; > > "Come about August, now listen to me, > > Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three, > > "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin, > > And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin; > > "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed, > > In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head; > > "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink, > > > > And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink; > > "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing, > > "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing". > > Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, > > I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat, > > And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, > > I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked; > > I began a new diet of nuts and granola, > > High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola; > > And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, > > I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes; > > I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half, > > And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed; > > But 'twas I who was laughing under my breath, > > As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death; > > And sure enough when Black November rolled around, > > I was the last turkey left in the entire compound; > > So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap; > > I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap; > > She held me today, while sewing and humming, > > And smiled at me and said: "Christmas is coming..." > > > Posts: 36 | From: Wherever I feel like being
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